How Long Would You Wait for Sex in a Relationship

When is it Time?

Many people wonder when the best time is to start being sexually intimate in their relationship. Sexual compatibility is important, but it’s just as important to communicate beforehand the type of relationship both parties are looking for. When two people have chemistry, it might seem like a good idea to skip the conversation and just *see where it goes* but doing so could jeopardize the chance of a meaningful relationship.

by: Jennifer J. Hayes

I have been seeing a guy for a few days and I really like him, and I am definitely attracted enough to have sex but I am scared if I have sex with him he will not stay around long term. I think he might be long term material but if I wait will he and if I do will he respect me. Please help.

Sincerely, Waitnomore

Dear Ms. Waitnomore,

My advice would be to enjoy the early discovery phase without getting overly invested—and yes, by overly invested I mean having sex. Prior to physical intimacy, the most important thing you want to know is if he’s interested in the same kind of relationship as you. If it’s too soon to make a decision about whether this guy is actually relationship material, I would hold off. It may be the exact opposite of what you want to do, but rushing that process does more harm than good. Men who are relationship-ready want to know that women are taking them seriously too; and if you’re quick to hit the sack, he’ll wonder if that’s your pace with every man.

Before you get physical, make sure you have a good level of communication with each other and an understanding where the relationship is headed. Don’t settle! Take as much time as you need in deciding if he truly is relationship material, then take the next step when you’re ready.



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