How to Get the Flame Going Again!

Keep on Loving

Countless couples complain about not having enough sex and passion in their relationships. Well, it’s time to stop complaining about what you don't have and start creating what you want in your relationship.

by: Jennifer J. Hayes

Light that flame: When you and your partner first started dating, you both made an effort to make each encounter special. That’s what you need to do now.

Keeping the spark in your love life is a hard job, especially when you add work, stress, bills and children into the mix. And the longer you stay in a relationship, the easier it is to drift into routine, killing the spontaneity and romance you both had in the beginning. I have so many friends who complain about missing how their spouses or significant others showed affection in the beginning of the relationship. “He was so charming, we held hands, he bought me flowers and he was so attentive. Now, he forgets my birthday, we never go anywhere, he is not romantic”. From the Men I hear; “we never have sex, if we do it is all about her, she never fixes herself up, she cares more about the kids, she too tired,” and list goes on and on. Both parties’ question where the sizzle went, and the answer is simple. It’s not missing... it just died down. No relationship is perfect, but each one requires work on both sides. There are so many things you can do to improve your relationship, sexually and otherwise. The problem is many couples yearn for a passionate love life, yet few take the steps to ignite it.

I am sure most of us blush at the mere thought of calling our partners in the middle of the day for a little love talk—but it might be just what you both need to get you going. Just a few minutes of dirty talk or texts can make you both anticipate seeing each other in the evening. Ditch that old routine and try spontaneity on for size. Be a little adventurous and roleplay with your partner. Dress up, change your names or act like you just met. This is the time to let your fantasies come alive. Learn to spice it up with new toys or sensual massages. Have sex in different rooms of the house and at unique times; and while you’re at it try different positions. Nothing says sizzle like a morning quickie in the kitchen. Put the romance back in your relationship. Not everything has to lead to third base. Try holding hands and kissing different parts of the body. Forehead, hand, neck and shoulder kisses are romantic and sensual. It’s not just about sex. Learn how to create anticipation like you had when you first met you partner.

Most of all communicate. Learn your partner’s love language, ask what turns him/her on, and be open to adjusting your tactics to reignite passion. Have fun with it, play a little Show and Tell. You may feel uncertain at times but continue taking steps to get that flame going again. It will take time, but it’s worth it. Start loving again!



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